Monday, May 23, 2011

All Boys Club


Every Monday morning my MIL gets together with some sisters in the ward to make various food items. The past few times, they have made dinner items. Today they decided to make bread. The ex-RS President in the ward showed up with her grain, her electronic mill, honey, gluten wheat germ, and bread mixer... Obviously she is one of those gung-ho food storage types whom even had her wheat germ labeled as 03/03, the day she purchased it. Insert eyeroll here ---> _______ .


Another sister and friend of mine showed up too, so it was just the four of us ladies making wheat bread. Which was pretty good in fact. I made some honey butter to go on the warm bread and it was delish... See recipe below. So we chit-chatted about this and that. We laughed a little. I teased a lot. Overall, we had a nice morning making bread together.


One of the things we chatted about was my MIL recounting a ward activity that came up in a PEC meeting (aka. The No Vaginas Sunday Morning Gossip Club). Apparently, at a recent ward activity, one of the members' of the bishopric met a few of the old-timers from our ward who have since moved on and he really enjoyed meeting these folks he has heard stories about. So while The No Vaginias Sunday Morning Gossip Club was talking and planning, they decided it would be a great ward activity to have an "old-timers" activity. Meaning, they would invite these former ward members to join them in a dinner, probably pot-luck style, and reminisce about the good ol' days. I secretly wondered if this would also include having the men dress up as cowboys and women as saloon whores, and have their photos taken in a sephia tone as a memento of the evening.


The two men who were put in charge of said activity were the EQ President and the High Priest Group Leader, whom happens to be my FIL. The EQ President is a well-meaning guy, is quite funny, and I like him a lot, but to get him to follow through on something is improbable. So the burden of planning this shing-dig would fall on the shoulders of my FIL... yeah, right. When my FIL came home, as my MIL was recounting it to us, he told her of their plans and said my MIL would be in charge of it.


"Why would I be in charge of it?" asked my MIL to my FIL, as she recounted this tale to us ladies.


"Because you are the HPGL's wife and I wouldn't know what to do," was his helpless answer.


Hearing how this would all fall on my MIL's shoulders started to make me mad. Because of my sticky position in the family and the ward, I decided I had better not criticize what I had heard. Even though my negative sentiments would have been valid before my disaffection, stating them now would only mean I am a bitter, inactive member and it would not be received well. So I kept my mouth shut. What I really, REALLY, wanted to say was, "Well. That is what you get when you do not include women in important meetings concerning the members of the ward."


So, the two things that bugged me about the above interaction: One, I think it is completely absurd that in the year of our Lord 2011, women in auxiliary positions are not allowed in PEC. At very least, the RS President should be invited so she is fully privy to the needs of those in the ward. This would save time for the bishop, instead of needing to pull the RS President aside for their own special pow-wow. 


I do not understand why women are excluded from PEC and I do not see a good reason for it either. If you really break it down, the only reason I see women being excluded is because of typical male, sexist tradition (aka. no penis syndrome). Just because women do not hold the Priesthood or a penis should not exclude them from being a part of meetings which involve how the ward is functioning. The RS President is basically in charge of compassionate service in the ward. As part of that function, she needs to know the needs of ward members, otherwise that calling is moot and is difficult for her to fulfill.


And number two: I wonder how many times past activities have fallen on the sister's shoulders which were originally planned by the men who were probably fully aware they would be dumping their ideas on the sisters. It does not seem right that men should plan something, knowing they would solicit help from the sisters, without the input and insight of those sisters. It is like my husband making plans for us without my knowledge or consent. Doing so is rude, offensive and disrespectful. It only adds to the disillusionment we women hear every General Conference about how wonderful we sisters are and how special we are. If this were the case, these men would not turn around and disrespect us women by making plans without us.


I do not see why a woman's point-of-view is not wanted in PEC. A woman's insights and thoughts would only add to the well-being of the ward family, plus it would give another point-of-view. The needs of a sister in the ward can not be truly understood by the men if a woman is not there to represent her point-of-view. A man cannot truly empathize with a woman because he is, simply, not a woman. If we woman are so special and wonderful, why are we not offered the decently of being represented by a woman in PEC to get our view? If the church is truly, TRULY concerned about women, they would allow female representation to ensure they get the FULL PICTURE.


Bottom line: If the male leadership of the church really thought we women were so special and wonderful, they would include women in the PEC to ensure our needs were truly met. So there.


Now to sweeten things up:
 
Honey Butter
1 cup of softened butter
2/3 cup of real honey
3/4 cup of powdered sugar


Throw butter in a mixing bowl, add honey and powdered sugar. Mix for a minute, or until fluffy. Serve on warm bread you made with your ex-RS President.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

And This Just In...

Coffee is good for your prostate! Just read this. So... If you have read the "Not-So Good Day" post before this one you are currently viewing, then, perhaps I will brew a pot of coffee at the beach week. We gotta keep our prostates healthy! Too bad all the cream and sugar go straight to your ass...



Disclaimer: I know your prostate is not part of your anus, but they are interconnected when getting a prostate checked. I also know, I do not have a prostate.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Not-So Good Day

As you have read, in the last ten months, Husband Notso and I have finally come to the point of letting our beliefs in the church go. Over the past ten years, or so, he kept some of his more radical thoughts to himself because he was afraid of what I would think. After some seeking and pondering and podcasting, we started an open dialog, paralleled our religious beliefs, and I learned things I had not known about the church. Many of these things were so disappointing and I was hurt. I was hurt because this once great thing and part of my life was not what it seemed to be.

Husband Notso told his parents and two brothers he no longer believed, which, of course, was not received well. Since then, we have gone through various phases of awkwardness, denial, indifference... All-in-all, I think they have handled it well, but slowly things have been trickling back to us through various conversations he has been having with different members of his family regarding our apostasy.

These "tricklings" have been extremely hurtful. We have been called "selfish", that we live in a world of "hyperbole" and, more specifically, that I "...would brew a pot of coffee..." at our family annual beach trip "...just for shock value...". If I were going for shock value, I think I would be more creative other than brewing a pot of coffee.

Even before all the $hit hit the fan, I have had an irreverent sense of humor, but now my irreverent jests are now "hurtful" and are out-of-place. It has been SO DIFFICULT keeping my mouth shut. I know speaking my mind would make things worse and would be unproductive. I have known his family since 1996 and it is like they do not remember what I am like or who I am.

I am still the SAME person. I am not EVIL. I do not and will not purposefully shove in their faces my new lifestyle. In fact, feel like I am going out-of-my-way to make sure I will not offend them in any way in order to make this situation less awkward. When I am around his family, I wear "modest" clothing, even though I have ditched the magic underwear long ago. I will not "brew a pot of coffee" just for shock value. Now, it is as if I need to prove to them I am a good person, when I already was a good person.



And I admit, I like my occasional Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks, but I am far from brewing pots of coffee in the morning. I am SO tempted to just go ahead and brew a pot at the beach and not drink a drop just to show them how stupid they are.