She Has Left The Church

This past week, Mom and Dad visited a good family friend who is a temple president of one the temples in the Salt Lake Valley. They went to get a priesthood blessing for guidance regarding Dad's disease. The blessing went well and afterwards, they chit-chatted, and the temple president specifically asked about me. Mom's response was,"She has left The Church."


As Mom recounted that to me and the words of "she has left the church" came out of her mouth, I kinda got a sick feeling in my stomach. Have I REALLY left The Church? I have been thinking since then what my relationship with The Church is. There are things I still believe and hold on to, I can still see myself participating on some level, I just do not attend.


I am fine receiving any member of our ward into our home. Visiting teacher? Fine. Missionaries? Fine. Bishop? Fine. I have even told our Relief Society President, who is also a friend I hang out with, whatever help she needs, I would be happy to assist. 


Just as I started becoming inactive, we had a whole bunch of new, young families move into the ward. I have become good friends with the mommies and their children. I am so grateful for the influx of girlfriends. I swear they moved into our ward boundaries just for me.


Perhaps, my readers, you may think it is awkward being friends with Mormon mommies and me, the inactive sister. Since the beginning, I have refused to let this situation be awkward. I have been proactive at maintaining my friendships and I have been blunt and open about what I want from them regarding The Church. I even openly joke about my church attendance. 


I have voiced my appreciation to them for being so kind to me and for treating me like everyone else. One day, flat out, I told them "just don't treat me like I am a project", to which they agreed. Being honest, and open, and even blunt at times has worked for me in maintaining my relationship with my girlfriends. I am glad religion is not the basis of friendship for them.


So have I left the church? I don't know. I don't know if I can answer that right now. I haven't mailed in my resignation, so I am still on the books. I still feel like I belong to my ward family and would attend activities, like the Ward Christmas Party and I still say hi when I bump into Ward members at Walmart, or wherever.


What keeps me from going to church is my dislike for listening to things I do not agree with or believe. I still believe in God, Jesus, and the Holy Ghost, and it makes logical sense to me that they are separate beings. I believe in the goodness and guidance of the Word of Wisdom and I want to pass that onto my children. I believe in some kind of preexistence and afterlife. I believe I will be together with my husband, my children, and my family regardless of what I do in this lifetime. I still believe families are forever. I believe Christ's message of love one another. 


So where does this place me? Am I still Mormon? I don't know. I guess that will be something which will be resolved in the future. 


Whomever you are, leave a comment. Any insight you have, I would appreciate hearing. 

The Pl4yboy Club Loves Lucy

I would like to thank the Deseret News for providing me with material for this entry. Here is the link to the article from the DesNews regarding how sex has evolved on television. What prompted the article is the recent release of the fall lineup the networks will be showing. Among them is The Pl4yboy Club, which, by the title, must be a wholesome and family friendly show. Surely, the family will gather together, just as they did back in the day of FDR and his fireside chats.


KSL, the NBC network affiliate in Salt Lake City and owned by Deseret Media Companies, which is owned by the LDS Chruch, has decided to take the choice from its watchers being able to determine for themselves if TPC is suitable for their home. And this is where it rubs me the wrong way.

NBC => KSL => DMS => LDS Church

One of the foundational beliefs in Mormonism is that of free agency. Agency and "The War in Heaven" is one of the first things taught by missionaries when they have an investigator. Here is the Cliff's Notes version of "The War in Heaven". God has many spirit children. God tells his children they need to go to earth and they can return to him, but he needs a plan. Lucifer, pipes up, saying his plan would be to force God's children to live righteously and the glory would be his. Jesus pipes up saying through agency, God's children will return and the glory will be God's. Jesus' plan is accepted, Lucifer is cast out and yadda yadda yadda.


This story is one of the first things taught to small children in Sunday School and to investigators. It is a topic which comes up all the time in talks, classes, songs, and daily Mormon conversation. Needless-to-say, the doctrine of free agency is big in Mormon theology. Because we are physically here on earth, we accepted Jesus' plan. We are taught through our choices, good or bad, we will be held accountable. The hope is that through making bad choices we will learn, grow and be better, and forgiveness will come from God via Jesus' atonement.


So the idea of free agency is huge to Mormonism to God's plan of having us return to live with him again, except when it comes to airing shows like The Pl4yboy Club on the unspotted NBC network affiliate KSL. Here, the choice is being made for you. You, the public, are not allowed to decide if TPC is a show that is appropriate for your own household. Your free agency is taken from you and you are being forced to do right. Big Brother is making sure you won't even be tempted by whatever content is contained in TPC because Big Brother knows you can not be trusted to make the correct choice. For a church that is a big proponent of free agency, it seems they are following Satan's plan.


Part of the reasoning behind this decision was the fear the show would be aired during prime time and children could be susceptible to watching it. A parent should be allowed to do just as the name states: parent. They are the ones responsible to insure their children are watching age appropriate television, but once again, free agency is being taken away. DMC is usurping a parent's authority of television watching in their household. DMC does not have the right to take away that choice from anyone regardless of the content in that show. This is squarely a decision for parents and adults to make for themselves. If an adult likes it, they should get to watch it. If a parent does not like it, they should be allowed to change the channel.


What's more, the newspaper article gives a brief timeline of the evolution of sex in television. It first starts with the wonderful little show called I Love Lucy where Desi and Lucy were shown sleeping in separate beds and the word "pregnant" was taboo. This got my blood boiling. Really? I mean, really? I wonder if the writer of the article has seen an episode of I Love Lucy recently.


When I was a kid, I loved that show. I especially loved the episode where Lucy and Ethel are in the candy factory, trying to keep up with packaging chocolates. That episode made me crave chocolatey goodness every time. Remembering I loved that show when I was younger, I watched a bit of it not to long ago and I saw a completely different show. It was a show that was sexist and demeaning to women.


Lucy and Ethel are treated by both their husbands as if they are little children who need help wiping their asses after they shit. I was absolutely astounded how rude and disrespectful Ricky was towards his wife and Fred to Ethel. The reason Lucy and Ethel got into so much trouble is because they had to sneak around in order to do what they wanted to do. There was no compromise. No communication. There was only Ricky's way. 


EVERY episode goes like this: Lucy has an idea. Ricky puts the kibosh on the idea. Lucy sneaks around to put her idea into practice and solicits the help of Ethel. Lucy and Ethel find themselves in a bind. Ricky finds out. Fred finds out. Ricky gets mad at Lucy. Fred gets mad at Ethel. Lucy cries. Ethel cries. Lucy apologies. Ethel apologies. Ricky and Lucy kiss. Red and Ethel hug. Next episode, rinse, repeat.


So really, using I Love Lucy as an example of what "good" television is, is insulting to every woman who has had to fight for equality in the workplace and at home. It is a horrible example to use in this day and age where women continue to struggle for equality. Is the author really wanting to turn the clock back all these years just to have wholesome television? I hope not. 


I do not understand the nostalgia of wanting to go back to 60 years ago when the civil rights movementand the feminist movement were just about to be birthed. As a society we have come such a long way on ensuring all freedoms are extended to all people regardless of race or gender. Just because the horrible eight-letter word "pregnant" was not allowed on television does not mean we should subscribe to the ideals of that time. I would rather have the choice of turning off the television and maintain my equality, rather than give up my rights and free agency for Molly Mormon television. 

To be clear, I am NOT promoting The Pl4yboy Club nor am I supporting it. In fact, had I not come across this article and all the hullabaloo TPC is creating in Utah, I probably would not even be aware of its premier. I probably would not even watch an episode, but in my curiosity to check it out, I YouTubed the trailers for it and it looks kinda intriguing. I might even watch the series premier... With my preschool daughter and my toddler son because I am the one who should make that choice. Thank you very much.