A Good Day

Today is a good day. The house is a wreck, but I feel like a got a lot done. Daughter NotSo had preschool this morning and I was planning on skipping it. I had gotten up late and I absolutely loathe trying to rush out the door when there are two children to get ready. Daughter NotSo seems to only have two speeds: slow and huh?. So it was already 9:30 in the morning, when preschool starts, and I said to myself, "Just do it!"


So I did it and it wasn't that bad. I didn't feel rushed or stressed. I even had time to make her a sack lunch. After dropping Daughter NotSo off, a little late, I hit the grocery store and bought stuff for us and our neighbors who had just had a baby. I told them I would be bringing them dinner and today I felt motivated to do so.


Son NoSo and I made it home and I started prepping the dinner, when my friend and other neighbor dropped her daughter off for me to watch while she went to teach her comm call class. Our daughters are the same age, so they play together and well at that. After a bit, we all loaded in the car to pick up Daughter NotSo from preschool, then home again, where dinner preparation continued and the kids played.


I want to do nice things for people, but sometimes it is so damn hard for me to comment. My MIL was in the RS Presidency of our ward for the last few years, so I was called upon many times to help her. I am happy to help, but when the children at home don't cooperate with what I need to accomplish, it can get stressful, and I feel pressure and anxiety in trying to achieve what I need to do to help my MIL out, or anyone for that matter. Hence my reluctance to comment to anything because in my head, it equals stress.


So why was today good, you ask? Today was good because I was able to make dinner for my neighbors and there was very little stress in doing so. I was able to enjoy the service I was preforming. I love the feeling of doing something nice for someone else. Not because I think I am wonderful, but because I need those good vibrations in my life. I have such a hard time being happy that if I can grasp onto any happiness floating our there, I will.


It is so important to me that I remain in the service of my fellow being even though I am not attending church. I am still a good person, with a good heart, and I want to do good things. Just because I don't commit to three hours every Sunday does not mean I am a bad person. The teaching of Christ I believe to be most fundamental in my life is loving on another. So many times we are more concerned with the rules, rather than with the person. Rules are made to be broken, hearts aren't. I am glad I was able to do something nice today.

The Cafeteria is Open

Some of the things said over the pulpit during conference drive me bonkers. Well, there are actually several things that drive me nuts about conference. One: Lack of female speakers. Two: The "conference cadence". Three: Constant stream of nincompoopery... see below.

"Teach of faith to keep all the commandments of God, knowing that they are given to bless His children and bring them joy. Forewarn them that they will encounter people who pick which commandments they will keep and ignore others that they choose to break. I call this the cafeteria approach to obedience. This practice of picking and choosing will not work. It will lead to misery. To prepare to meet God, one keeps all of His commandments. It takes faith to obey them, and keeping His commandments will strengthen that faith" Elder Nelson, April 2011

I love how he uses the term "cafeteria approach to obedience", as if this were a term he cleverly came up with all on his own. I even went back to listen to the clip to see if he got any laughs out of the congregation. Yes. There is a soft, audible chuckle for a few seconds before he continues. Lame. This term has been in use in forums and facebook groups long before Elder Nelson spoke of it in conference. So do not give him any of the clever credit. He took one of our phrases.


And by our, I mean us "Cafeteria Mormons". Yes. I am a Cafeteria Mormon. I do pick and chose the commandments which I want to live. It is FINALLY nice to get some kind of recognition from The Church that there is a fragment of its members out there who want to be Mormon, but do not swallow EVERYTHING they serve in the cafeteria... And to continue on the cafeteria analogy, if I may, we all know what happens if you eat everything they serve in the cafeteria... You get fat and immovable.


I believe God wants us to think for ourselves and make decisions based on the Savior's example. Allowing others to think for you is lazy and can cause confusion when, one day, your designated thinkers sway from their teachings. I can think of several instances of this throughout church history where its prophets swayed from what the previous prophet said. Polygamy, anyone?  Adam/God theory, anyone? Blacks and the Priesthood, anyone? And how does the church apologize for these deferences when God remains ever consistent?


I think there are enough TBM zealots out there who would follow the prophet off a cliff and continue justifying it until their guts were splattered on the ground. I wonder if TBMs truly understand the significance of the very foundational question of which The Church was founded. Joesph Smith, himself had a question and one day, while reading the bible, he came across that poignant scripture in James, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all [men] liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him". Meaning, if you have a question, ask God what it is and he will help you get the answer.


That scripture is not just limited to Joesph Smith and his question to God, nor is it limited to only modern-day prophets. It is there for ALL of us to read and to use when we have questions. Just because a member choses to find for themselves whether-or-not the direction a modern-day prophet is valid, does not mean they are unfaithful or evil. It means they are thinkers and want to do thinking and get conformation for themselves. I believe The Church holds itself as the highest, supreme power and government for all people. Even though there are governments leading its countrymen, I believe the church quietly scoffs at these governments and rules its people, winking from the sidelines. 


There is a higher power and authority which a person can seek input and that is seeking answers, as the scripture says, from God himself. When the phone system was first around, a person would have to call into an operator, who would then plug them into the extension of the person they were seeking. The Church does not need to be your operator. Just as we can now call people today without a third-party "assistance", we can talk to God without interference of the church. So when it comes to commandments and "picking which ones to follow", I believe it is between that person and God. Period.


Another troublesome issue in his talk was his heed at warning your children of "...people who pick which commandments they will keep and ignore the others they chose to break..." Really? We need to warn our children of these people as if they are evil, un-Christlike or lepers?


This statement is so damaging in so many ways. Especially the word "warning". A warning is a way of announcing to those a threat or impending danger is nigh, so a person should beware and take shelter. Just as a tornado siren warns a tornado, parents need to use their "siren" to warn against us evil-doing, pick and choose, Cafeteria Mormons. A statement like that only gives children and parents a license to JUDGE others who THEY see are not following the commandments. 


There are so many people out there in this silly world who live better Christlike lives than most Mormons and these are the same people who might have a drink of wine or coffee, or smoke, or wear sleeveless tops! The horror of them all! Teaching children to reject those around them only teaches them to judge and fear. This is the COMPLETE opposite of what Christ taught. He healed the leper. Forgave the adulteress. Blessed the children and taught us to "love one another". Nobody was off-limits to the Savior. His love was and is for everyone and was and is not limited to the sickest, saddest individual who has ever lived or is living.


So, instead, Elder Nelson wants us to avoid these people. Perhaps even shun them from our lives and no doubt, many TBM will. The Cafeteria Mormons he is warning of are your parents, your siblings, your friends, your neighbors. I am a Cafeteria Mormon. Elder Nelson is warning you about me. Me, people. Me. I, whom tries daily to live a Christlike life. I need not prove my Christlike ways today or ever. I will not give examples of what I try to do on a daily basis because I am confident enough I am living a good life. Sometimes I screw up. Sometimes I judge. But most of the time my love for people shines through and that creates true happiness.


The fact that my picking and choosing will cause me "misery", as Elder Nelson puts it, is something I will just have to risk. So far I am not miserable. I am happy. In fact, I had one of those fleeting moments of happiness today, where my soul tuned in and everything just seemed right and good. Knowing the quirks I know about the church and turning a blind eye to it would case me more misery because my integrity would be challenged. I would rather keep my integrity and confidence because I am choosing to live my life and have it on par with what God wants. There are many ways to God. Mormonism may be just another way to get there, it is not the ONLY way to get there. To say otherwise is smug... and wrong.

So for those of you choosing to eat all the cafeteria food, I hope you will enjoy it.  As for me and my house, we will pick what items will be most delicious and nutritious to our tummys and warn nobody about the food. Now, doesn't that Jell-o salad look good?