I have been
meaning to write my feelings of gratitude for some time now. So many dominoes have fallen into place in my life these past seven months. Some of the dominoes have crashed hard and the pain was almost unbearable, but still, they crashed in a
line to get me to the place I am today, at this moment, letting the words
trickle down to my fingertips. Of course, this celebration of memor is not
premature. I know there is still a long road of falling dominoes ahead, but it
seems doable.
Seven months
ago, I lost my East Coast family when he left. His family, literally, became my
family in the years we have lived here. Birthday parties, holiday celebrations,
baby blessings, wedding showers, weddings, reunions, baby showers, and just simply hanging out have
all but vanished from my life. I put from my mind the holiday celebrations I
won’t be invited to this season. Picturing His family gathered around a table
of thankful splendor, with my children, without me is already very painful. I
have no family out here. I am alone.
But I am
not, because of you…
So many
people have reached out to me since the beginning of all this. It seems a
simple text or private message has had just the perfect timing to get me
through a moment where loneliness tried to be my ugly, unwanted friend. A plate
of cookies, a special treat, even a jar of chicken curry soup, showed up at my
door from dear friends who were thinking of me. A gift certificate to the
movies so my children and I could escape for a few hours made its way to my
inbox from my sister. Cards of love and encouragement coming from far and wide,
made my day much brighter and bearable. In moments where I was down to the last
cup of milk for breakfast, a check has made its way to my hands without payback
as a condition. There have been countless hours of care to my children when I
need help. Many an ear on the phone or a living room couch has been offered so
I can pour out the pain in my heart. A job offer on the weekends I don’t have
my children…
Because of
you. Because you know love. Because you listen.
The list of
names is huge. You have brought me such hope, gratitude, and humility into my
life. Each of you has helped soften the hardest domino from falling. The light
you have brought into my life at just the right moments will never be forgotten
and I promise to pay it forward.
Dad. Mom.
Jenny. Christian. Candice. Laura. Rob. Francesco. Evelyn. Jenna. Elizabeth W.
Mark. Meleana. Lindsay. Brian. Ellen. Kimberley. Shane. Robin. Amanda. Matt M.
Abby. Sue. Michelle Y. HOB. Tracy. Carissa. Jim. Kim. Edward. Rosemary. Jessica.
Jennifer H. Marissa. Kaly. David H. Aunt Nancy. LibbyChick. Molly. Camille.
Jamie N. Anne T. JGD. Matt R. Shelly.
Even EWM,
who was a rock, but who is no longer a friend.
I am sure I will add to this list as more names come to me, but for now my deepest and most sincere love to all of you.
