Coming Out Problems. Take One

Naturally, there have been several issues that have come up with Husband NotSo's family. We have only come out of the closet to his immediate family in the last few months. Of course we realize they are confused and hurt, and at a loss with what is going on. I have put myself in their shoes, for not too many years ago, if a sibling of mine had come out of the Mormon closet, I would feel a great sense of loss. My heart would be broken because I knew I would not get to see them in the eternities. So of course there is sorrow, pain, and confusion.


I guess I expected them to accept our new world view and move on without any further discussion. Somewhat naive of me, as to how this has not been the case. Things they are saying about us have trickled back to us, sometimes inadvertently, and what has trickled has been extremely hurtful. It is all I can do to not act like a bear out of hibernation, coming from its cave, to let a trespasser have it.


I just don't see them putting on our shoes and I doubt they will because of the zealous way people feel when it comes to their religion, especially the Mormon religion. When it comes to being a True Believing Mormon, or TBM, nothing can sway you from your beliefs. Those beliefs and faith in those beliefs are solid and become an absolute reality, so any other view is wrong and lacks truth. From day one, members are taught that Mormonism is the only true church on the earth and that it is, literally, the same church Christ lead when he was on the earth two-thousand years ago. Therefore, the other religions out there may be good, but they are wrong and do not have the full truth. Therefore, their members lack everything you need in order to live with God again.


Now we are out of the closet, we are lumped with the rest of the world, or Babylon, but in our case it is worse because we know better. We once "knew it was true" and now that we don't believe all of it anymore, our souls are doomed. I honestly do not feel my soul is doomed, nor do I feel those who are good people who are not Mormon are doomed. I believe there will be plenty of other non-Mormons living with God once again.


This is where my hurt feelings come into play. I am still the same person. I have not changed. I am a good person. A good mommy. A good neighbor. A good friend. I still look for opportunities to serve others and help others when I am out in public. I am still friendly and I will still tear you apart if you mess with me or any of my family. The only thing that has changed is what aspects I do and do not believe about Mormonism. Because I do not believe those things anymore does not automatically make me "one of them" or a bad person. I am not bad mouthing The Church, nor am I revealing the things I have found out to those around me nor will I.


So as for coming out, expect there to be problems within your family. Expect tears and awkwardness. Expect passive-aggressive ways of them getting you to "really think" about what you are doing.  Expect anger and hurt on both side. And don't be naive that they will just accept it because that is, truly, not reality.